Here are some reasons you might not hire me to mow: I dodge cool looking clover, large moths, and milkweed. I go slowly, begging grass hoppers to hop away, and the whole time I’m scheming the surprise message I want to write into the grass. On the other hand, I have nice legs, you might like the patterns I make by driving in tight circles, and you can pay me in ginger ale + non-creepy back rubs.